This was funny stuff and heavens to Betsy did it make for some awkward situations! I was prepared for each one making for such an uncomfortable situation that I might need to try each one on a different person because otherwise it’s as if you’re completely off your rocker for the day. However, I did all three experiments on a close friend of mine when we spent the afternoon together yesterday.
The first eye contact experiment was the easiest of the three. I hadn’t seen her in awhile and we sat across from each other to eat lunch. I didn’t do it until we had finished eating because I knew we’d both be too distracted with the food in front of us. Once we were done eating we continued to catch up about life and as she told me a story, that was well over two minutes long, I maintained eye contact. I thought this would be challenging to do, but it came natural. Because she was telling me something that was important to her, it would have seemed more inappropriate than anything to have not maintained eye contact. Had I been looking around the restaurant or watching the couple dining behind her she would have assumed that I wasn’t interested and/or not listening. This was proven in the next experiment.
Now came the second eye contact experiment. I chose to do it again while she was telling me a story. I knew the whole time that I was doing it, that I was way more uncomfortable with it than she was. I felt so badly and just wanted it to be over so that I could explain to her what I was up to. I looked around the restaurant, watched the couple that was sitting behind her, even smiled at the staff as they walked by. As I also still listened to her, I could tell she was annoyed and shortening up the story because I seemed so disinterested. I asked her a question pertaining to what she was talking about and made no eye contact while doing so. This was so weird for me and also for her. She gave a short answer and then gave up talking because she felt like she was talking to no one.
After lunch we went for a walk and ended up in the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis. We were standing in an area by ourselves surrounded by windows overlooking the city. We were chatting and unfortunately I had one more experiment for the poor girl. I slowly edged my way in and she didn’t notice that I was getting closer at first. She surprisingly didn’t compensate for me moving in by stepping backwards. I think this is because she is like a sister to me. We’ve been friends since we met in middle school. So when she did notice that I was strangely close to her, considering all the open area around us, she laughed and asked, “What are you doing?” At that point I had already been at it long enough that I allowed myself to laugh with her and explained what I was up to.
How different of an outcome do you think these experiments would have on someone you’ve just met versus someone who is comfortable around you?
Do you think different cultures would each find a different one of these experiments to be the most alarming and cause the most discomfort?
Sorry guys that may font has been so small on these last two posts. I don't know what's going on with that, but I'll try to figure it out before I post another one with such miniature words!
ReplyDeleteSomne one you just met would respond quicker rather than some one that is comftorable with you. If a random person walked up to you and atarted getting closer and closer, you would move away faster as you are not very close or know them very well. I think that if everyone that you talked to was the opposite sex, I think that the outcomes would be differant also.
ReplyDeleteSomeone more familiar with you would be less likely to have a strong negative reaction. They would probably try and puzzle out what was going on before asking, and HersheyLady is right that if a stranger started closing in it would illicit a more extreme reaction.
ReplyDeleteAs for the reactions of different cultures, I suppose that there would definitely be different reactions based upon what the norms were, especially on eye contact.
It's funny because I feel these experients would have similar outcomes if the person was a stranger or a close friend. I think the most dramatic results would come from trying these out in a professional setting where the boundaries are more defined, although still unwritten.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I think different cultures would have different reactions because they have different definitions on what is appropriate for spacial proximity.
ReplyDeleteI think it would have been super different. The person would have either gotten mad or just left and not finished the conversation. I think they would step up and say something, and their perception of you might be completely different then it normally should. I think different cultures have different reactions as well. There are so many does and donts in certain cultures that for all we know this might not have even been appropriate.
ReplyDeleteIf we do these experiment to someone that we don't know, it would be so wierd and the person would feel dangerous. I guess the person would walk back more quickly than the people we know. I think they want to leave as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteI think the reaction differes depending on different cultures, especially the one that we stand closely to the person because people feel differently about their personal space based on the cultures.