Class ends, but our Journeys Continue

Intercultural Communication was an eye-opening experience for me. It has provided for me a greater awareness of my own culture, other cultures and the struggles that we all face. On a day to day basis, everyone is in their own little world. We’re busy with classes, work, family, and everything in-between, and this class provided things to think about that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Today I stopped in front of the college to let a young Asian women cross the street and thought more about her than I would have before this class. Normally, we’re listening to our music play, thinking about where we’re headed, and what we have to do. We’re not conscious, on a regular basis, of such things as: what her life might be like, where she or her family came from, or what her culture is like.
I have also found a greater appreciation for my college experience through this class. There is so much more to the experience of higher education than obtaining a diploma. I am a better version of myself because of classes like this one. I’ve greatly benefited from my exposure to other cultures and the opportunity to hear other people’s perspectives of the problems we are faced with in today’s world. In a post I made, I talked about a black friend of mine who is treated quite poorly in River Falls. Prior to meeting him in college I would have said that discrimination didn’t exist in River Falls. I personally didn’t hold any prejudices against anyone and I would have continued to live in a dream world that everyone else felt the same way. Some might say that, “ignorance is bliss”, but I think ignorance could lead our world straight to its demise. Being aware of other cultures is the first step in accepting, getting along with, and good communication with other cultures than our own.
I have learned a lot, but I think there is still a lot of room for improvement in terms of my intercultural communication expertise. I learned that what I have the most difficulty dealing with is polar-opposite opinions and beliefs from mine. I think this is a great stumbling block for most people. It’s interesting; I’m extremely accepting of others. I don’t care how different you are from me; I like you already. However, if someone has a different opinion or belief that somehow affects the lives of others negatively, I’m not accepting of that at all. I have the best intentions. All I want is for everyone to be nice to each other, but I suppose that I’m not being nice myself, if I’m judging another’s opinion. My intercultural communication skills will fall short if I’m not able to work past this. I need to take another’s belief for what it is and accept it even if I don’t necessarily like it. If I don’t learn to do this I will build a wall between myself and others, thus causing an end to our communication all together.
Not accepting people who aren’t accepting of other people results in a somewhat vicous cycle. What can I do or perhaps you do to stop this from occurring?
Okay, that’s probably the most bewildering question ever. I’ll give an example.
I greatly dislike a person who is racist because they greatly dislike … consequently a cycle begins

Intercultural Conflict

In about the middle of last month the U.S. Supreme Court ruled the federal government has the power to keep some sex offenders behind bars indefinitely after they have served their sentences if officials determine those inmates may prove sexually dangerous in the future. This had already been the law, but what prompted the current high court appeal was a federal appeals court in Richmond, Virginia, ruling that lawmakers had overstepped their authority by passing the 2006 Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. This law includes a provision allowing indefinite confinement of sex offenders.

Justice Stephen Breyer wrote, "The federal government, as custodian of its prisoners, has the constitutional power to act in order to protect nearby (and other) communities from the danger such prisoners may pose". At issue was the constitutionality of federal "civil commitment" for sex offenders who are nearing the end of their confinement or who are considered too mentally incompetent to stand trial. While on the other hand, the inmates' attorneys maintain the continued imprisonment violates their constitutional right of due process and argue Congress overstepped its power by allowing inmates to be held for certain crimes that normally would fall under the jurisdiction of state courts. Also, Breyer equated the federal civil commitment law to Congress' long-standing authority to provide mental health care to prisoners in its custody, if they might prove dangerous, "whether sexually or otherwise."

The major conflict issues

I think that as individuals we all want and expect our government to protect us, but I think where the conflict arises is in our differing opinions of how far we want the government to go to make this happen. For many people, they believe this should be done no matter what the cost might be. For others, they’re more concerned with the possibility of the government going too far, maybe “overstepping” their authority, and potentially doing more damage than good.

Cultural Conflict Styles

I believe the dominating style is present her. The win-lose orientation is essentially present and behavior is being forced to win one’s position surrounding this conflict. However, I don’t see it as a win-lose and want to hear your opinion about that. Do you think this conflict maybe revolves around the best interest for everyone? The article stated that, “corrections officials and prosecutors determined the men remained a risk for further sexually deviant behavior if freed”. Clearly these men have not yet been successfully treated and until that is the case, isn’t it better for everyone, including the men charged, to remain in an environment that is more conducive to them receiving the help they still need? That said, I think the integrating style is perhaps more accurate. High concern is reflected for both the self and the other person and involves an open and direct exchange of information in attempt to reach a solution acceptable to both parties.

Resolving such conflicts as this one is challenging, but possible if we work at it. I think the most important thing is for both sides to better educate themselves and continue to work towards a solution that meets one another’s needs as well as their own.

All the information regarding this current issue I found at: http://current.com/news/92438151_supreme-court-sex-offenders-can-be-held-indefinitely.htm

A Culture's View of Relationships

1. Who do the members of your culture consider to be part of their family?

Anyone who is related by “blood” or related by a marriage to someone of “blood” is considered to be “family”.

Immediate family is the man and wife and whatever children they might have. Typically it is only these people that live in a home together.

Extended family is made up of grandparents, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, and cousins.

2. What are some roles and responsibilities of specific family members?

The mothers are often the nurturer, while the fathers are the providers. Mothers are expected to be the parent who is responsible for housework, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the kids. Fathers are often expected to be the parent that makes more money of the two and also does the more laborious work.

The children are participating members of the immediate family; children are often asked to help do small chores around the home. The older children sometimes take on a caretaker-like role for their younger siblings. Grandparents are considered special and are present for birthdays, holidays, and other special events for the children. Extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) are often present for special events as well.

3. Are family members encouraged to stay in the same house/area as their family after adolescence?

Once children graduate high school, they are most often encouraged to enroll in college and leave home for good.

4. What are the cultural norms and taboos regarding dating and meeting people with whom to become romantically involved?

People usually date others that are close to their own age, geographic location, and from the same cultural background.

It is taboo to date someone who is a lot older or younger. Dating someone who is related in some fashion, a person from your work environment, or a teacher would also all be considered taboo.

5. How are marriage proposals conducted in your culture?

Men ask women to marry them. They most often present her with a diamond ring and get down on one knee to ask the question.

6. What is a typical wedding like?

Weddings are usually a big, expensive affair. I’d guess that the average guest list is around two hundred. It usually consists of such events as: a rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception. The wedding party and the family are invited to the rehearsal dinner. The guests are made up of family and friends who are invited to attend the ceremony and join in the reception that immediately follows.

7. How do members of the culture view divorce?

In more recent years, divorce rates have greatly increased and so has the acceptance of them.

8. If divorce occurs, what are the rights of each partner?

Most often a fortune is spent on divorce lawyers before this is ever determined.

9. What is the general opinion of the culture toward homosexuality?

Homosexuals are still struggling for acceptance and equal rights. Those that are extremely religious within our culture are the people that have had the poorest opinions of homosexuals. Many people have become more open-minded and accepting of gays within our culture.

10. How are the general perspectives of this culture the same/different from yours regarding gender roles?

The cultures perspective of gender roles is slowly changing and evolving with time. However, many of the stereotypes that have existed for many years still exist today. I hear ideas still alive within my culture that make me think of the “dark ages”. The idea that married women are supposed to be the caretakers of the children and do all the housework, cooking, ect, while the men’s role is that of being the provider and doing the laborious work outdoors. I think it’s outdated and naive to believe in such explicit gender roles. I differ in that I think there should be equality between genders. I think that we have to keep evolving and recognizing where we’ve made mistakes in the past. To judge a mother for working hard to provide for her family or judge a father for devoting his time to caring and loving his children and taking care of the home would be quite shameful on our part.

This activity brought to my attention how different my beliefs and ideas often are from the beliefs and ideas of my culture. As I wrote about my culture above, I couldn’t help but shutter a bit about some of their feelings, ideas, and traditions about relationships. How could the way I feel be so different from that of my own culture? I had such trouble with this activity because of two things that were written in the directions for the assignment, “Remember, this is your CULTURE, not necessarily you individually” and “Define your culture how you wish”. I struggled to write down what my culture represents, instead of what I represent as an individual. Secondly, I struggled with defining my culture, “as I wish”. These two sets of directions seemed somewhat contradictory to me, even though I know what Jen meant. If I were to define my culture as I wish, I would define it based on the way that I wish it was, instead of a more accurate assessment. Did you find yourselves feeling this way at all? Do you think you are a good representation of your culture or after this assignment did you feel like you were talking about “them” instead of you?

SURVIVOR

If you’re one of those people that sees or hears an advertisement for Survivor and wonders how the heck that show can still be on television or who even watches it; I am both proud and ashamed to admit that I am part of the reason and I am the person still watching it. The twentieth season just wrapped up this spring, while I was wrapping up my spring semester of school. I tivo-ed it and now that it’s summer, I have been catching up. I’m not sure if this is the best choice of a television show for this assignment because it’s a reality show, but besides the news I don’t allow myself to regularly watch any other shows. So a tivo-ed episode of Survivor will have to do.

This season is the “Heros vs Villians”. They brought back from all the previous seasons the most notorious bad guys, who are playing against the players who over the past nineteen seasons have played the most honorable games. The villains started out on a tribe (team) and have been willing to lie, cheat, and steal whenever need be to get themselves further in the game. The heros weren’t willing to go to such measures and perhaps it’s sadly because of this that they have done as poorly as they have in the game.

The players on Survivor have shown that they are capable of working well as a team when they need to, but only do so to get themselves ahead. On Survivor, you don’t see people make selfless moves. The players are always thinking about themselves, but at the same time it’s important to keep in mind that it’s a game and perhaps the players behave differently in their real lives.

This television show doesn’t accurately depict what Americans wear and certainly not where they live. It does show that we are not modest. The players have clothing along with them, but spend most of their time wearing very little of it. The players do almost everything wearing just their bathing suits.

On this show, the players typically hang out with the people that they have made alliances with. This was not a typical season of survivor because the contestants already knew one another from past seasons. So based on the previous seasons that I watched, the players usually form alliances with people that are their own age or close to it. Twenty year olds have the most in common with the others twenty something year olds. And the same is true of the players that are in their forties and so on.

This episode I watched mostly focused on the sneakiness of one player, named Russell. Russell’s behavior on Survivor has made him the most memorable and perhaps most hated player ever. He is willing to stop at nothing to get ahead and win. He has a pseudo alliance with every other player in the game. If someone was viewing this episode, or any of the episodes, in another country they would perceive Americans as one, extremely competitive, and two, gullible. I think they would also view us as selfish because of the players only worrying about themselves.

If you ever watch Survivor, do you think that it accurately portrays the behavior of Americans? How do you feel about the way Americans are depicted in general on television?

TRANSITION TIME

Last fall I moved to Bloomington, Minnesota. I didn’t board an airplane, nor did I cross an ocean, but I moved away from the place that I’d called home for the previous twenty-two years. For someone who doesn’t like change, this was a huge transition. I vividly remember my senior year of high school in River Falls. Almost everyone in my graduating class couldn’t wait to pack their bags and head out to bigger and better things. I, on the other hand, was so grateful that there was a great university in my home town. I would be able to get my undergrad while living at home, saving some money by doing so and continuing to be able to spend my time with my favorite people, my family.

My move to Bloomington was a good experience. I lived by myself in a small apartment over the last year and had fun meeting a lot of new people. I didn’t like the time that I spent alone. I like being around other people all the time. I often invited friends in the apartment building over for dinner or to watch television together. It’s funny when you’ve never lived alone and then suddenly to be faced with a whole lot of alone time.

Along with the transition to a new “home”, I also started school at a new college for dental hygiene. I loved this transition. It was great to finally be taking the classes that relate to what I’ll be doing in my career. We spent our second semester working in clinic and already have built up clientele that will be coming to visit us again in the fall. The transition of starting at a new school made the transition to a new living situation much easier. Many of the women in my hygiene class also live around the area and we were able to spend time outside of school together.

The transition of moving away from home made me grow as an individual and learn more about myself. How would you describe your experience of moving away from home for the first time? Was it an overall great experience or did you face challenges that you hadn’t anticipated?

Hey look @ ME! I'm talking to you

This was funny stuff and heavens to Betsy did it make for some awkward situations! I was prepared for each one making for such an uncomfortable situation that I might need to try each one on a different person because otherwise it’s as if you’re completely off your rocker for the day. However, I did all three experiments on a close friend of mine when we spent the afternoon together yesterday.

The first eye contact experiment was the easiest of the three. I hadn’t seen her in awhile and we sat across from each other to eat lunch. I didn’t do it until we had finished eating because I knew we’d both be too distracted with the food in front of us. Once we were done eating we continued to catch up about life and as she told me a story, that was well over two minutes long, I maintained eye contact. I thought this would be challenging to do, but it came natural. Because she was telling me something that was important to her, it would have seemed more inappropriate than anything to have not maintained eye contact. Had I been looking around the restaurant or watching the couple dining behind her she would have assumed that I wasn’t interested and/or not listening. This was proven in the next experiment.

Now came the second eye contact experiment. I chose to do it again while she was telling me a story. I knew the whole time that I was doing it, that I was way more uncomfortable with it than she was. I felt so badly and just wanted it to be over so that I could explain to her what I was up to. I looked around the restaurant, watched the couple that was sitting behind her, even smiled at the staff as they walked by. As I also still listened to her, I could tell she was annoyed and shortening up the story because I seemed so disinterested. I asked her a question pertaining to what she was talking about and made no eye contact while doing so. This was so weird for me and also for her. She gave a short answer and then gave up talking because she felt like she was talking to no one.

After lunch we went for a walk and ended up in the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis. We were standing in an area by ourselves surrounded by windows overlooking the city. We were chatting and unfortunately I had one more experiment for the poor girl. I slowly edged my way in and she didn’t notice that I was getting closer at first. She surprisingly didn’t compensate for me moving in by stepping backwards. I think this is because she is like a sister to me. We’ve been friends since we met in middle school. So when she did notice that I was strangely close to her, considering all the open area around us, she laughed and asked, “What are you doing?” At that point I had already been at it long enough that I allowed myself to laugh with her and explained what I was up to.

How different of an outcome do you think these experiments would have on someone you’ve just met versus someone who is comfortable around you?

Do you think different cultures would each find a different one of these experiments to be the most alarming and cause the most discomfort?

I NEED TO GET OUT MORE

This was a fun and quite interesting activity. I enjoyed taking both quizzes and seeing how well (or poorly) I did. The first quiz called, “Where is the Speaker from?” went about as well as the second quiz did. I wasn’t impressed with myself after finishing either one. I guessed one right in each of the different areas of the country. I know that I usually do notice a difference in pronunciations when I meet people from different areas of the country, but I usually can’t place where they are from by the way that they speak. I just recognize that there is a difference. The family that I have out in Washington State has always made fun of how we (Midwesterners) say, “boat” or “about”. Apparently, we do something funny with our o’s. I can’t hear it myself or change the way that I say it around them. But I’m always conscious of it when I say such words. I’ll find myself trying to say, “boat” as quickly as possible, as to not let that “o” linger or do anything funny. I think some accents from around the country stand out more than others.

The second quiz, called “Test Your Vowel Power” was interesting as well. I’ll list below the words that I thought were said versus what was actually said.

Word	My Guess
Block	Wag
Socks	Sacks
Desk	Dusk
Buses	Prices
Grade	Time

As you can see I clearly don’t have consonant power, let alone vowel power. So you should all feel better about your performances now that you see how it went for me. It’s funny how difficult the word can be to understand when it’s said by itself, but once it’s placed within a thought or sentence it’s very obvious.

I’m sure the more traveling a person has done and the more people that you know from different areas of the country would make this activity that much easier. I’ve done very little traveling in my life and therefore haven’t been too exposed to accents from around the country. I met an older couple the last time that I was in Florida who asked if I was from Wisconsin. We visited for quite a while. They have retired in Florida in a very “touristy” area. They frequently hear and meet people from all over and at this point can now easily identify where people are from by the way that they sound.

I also met a gentleman on another vacation that asked my right away if I was from Wisconsin. He had lived in Wisconsin for the majority of his life. Although I think we often can’t hear that we sound different ourselves, do you think we can still easily pick out someone who sounds like us? Like this gentleman, do you think if you were in a different place do you think you could easily identify the people who are from the same place as you, just by listening to them speak?

AVOWED & ASCRIBED IDENTITIES

Avowed Identities: loving, caring, intelligent, open-minded, active, happy, liberal, fun, out-going, social, polite

Ascribed Identities: judgmental, accepting, competitive, quiet/shy, giving, thoughtful

It disappoints me that this is an ascribed identity that I have to put on my list above, but I have been given the ascribed identity of judgmental by one of my sisters. She has told me many times how judgmental I am towards her boyfriend. I know this is something I cannot argue against. Her now fiancé has made many poor decisions in the past and I still often don’t agree with many of the things he does or things he says. Because of this I am overly judgmental of him. I know that if he were a coworker or a classmate I would not judge him in the way that I do because he is my sister’s fiancé. Although I know that it is not a valid justification, I judge him the way that I do because he is with my sister who I love so dearly and want the best for.
Other than my sister with the questionable choice in men, I have been given the ascribed identity of accepting by everyone else who knows me. This identity is a more accurate portrayal of who I really am. I am accepting of differences and appreciate everyone for who they are as a unique individual.
Everyone who has ever played a game with or against me has given me the ascribed identity of competitive. I realize that it’s just a game and only sometimes lose touch with that reality. I just have always figured that if I’m going to participate in a game of pictionary I may as well put all my heart into it. =)
People that I don’t know very well would all give me the ascribed identities of quiet and shy. The people that I know in the professional environment are the people who are most likely to give me this ascribed identity. I know many people who I’ve worked with or gone to school with for many years that I don’t interact with outside of work or school who still know me as shy, while my closest friends and family know me as outgoing and social.
My family and close friends have given me the ascribed identity of giving. I’ve always loved finding ways to make people smile. I do little things like send a card when I have time or just shoot a text message someone’s way to let them know that they are thought of. I like to buy a friend lunch when I have the money to do so, or get something special for my mom that I know she wouldn’t buy for herself. My family has told me for most of my life that my giving is going to effectively keep me poor for life.
My family and friends have given me the ascribed identity of thoughtful. If I know that someone is stressed or sad I do whatever I can to change that. I always noticed the kid on the playground that was left out and I did what I could to include them.
Of the actions that I took to resist these ascribed identities the one that most stands out to me is working hard to not be judgmental of my sister's significant other.
Do you think ascribed identities when it comes to yourself are most often accurate or inaccurate? Are the inaccurate ascribed identities you listed ones you’d rather were accurate or ones that you wish people didn’t associate with you?

Listing People of Different Ethnicities Proves to be Challenging

Messy is how I would describe my performance when asked to name males and females from different ethnic groups, from different time periods. What an eye-opening experience I’m sure most people would find this activity to be.
White Males were the easiest for me to come up with for each of the time periods. This can be attributed to the fact that they faced the fewest challenges in the history of this country. Until recently, every one of our presidents had been a white male. Most of the famous inventors, professors, artists, and etc that I know of are white males. This can be attributed to the historical fact that other groups were being oppressed. Another attributing factor is what has been taught in history classes in the United States in the past and continues to be taught today. From grade school through high school most of the history that I learned about was American history. I feel like there’s a great emphasis on the accomplishments of the United States, while it’s seems that the subject of the major mistakes and missteps that America has made is often tiptoed around. I feel like the history I was taught about the Native Americans was the version that the United States wants to remember instead of what really happened. When I watched “Far and Away” for the first activity for this class I was thinking of the Native Americans at the end of the film. It’s an American film and as a movie watcher we are suppose to find ourselves cheering for Joseph to get his land that he wants so badly. Instead, I found myself thinking of the Native Americans who had lived so peacefully with their surroundings, who had been so cruelly killed or removed from the place they called home. It wasn’t Joseph’s land for the taking; it shouldn’t have been anyone’s land for the taking. But that’s not a subject that American history focuses on. Instead of telling of a time of cruelty and devastation to the Native American population, there are the stories of the ambitious men and women with big and powerful dreams.
In addition to what I believe is a shortage of accuracy in American history; I think there are major shortcomings in the teaching of the history of other countries. I had difficulty coming up with names of anyone from the Middle East and I could only name a couple Asians and Latinos. The people that I did name were all Americans.
Although I put some blame of my performance on this quiz, on the history classes I had while growing up, I will take the majority of the blame. I think it's a personal responsibility to become as knowledgeable as possible about the world that we live in. You can't begin to judge issues or people or attempt to solve problems and make progress without being knowledgeable. And we have a responsibility to educate our young and continue to learn as adults.
The black males and females that I listed were all people associated with change of some kind. From the civil rights movement and more recently Barack and Michelle Obama. Sadly, when blacks are mentioned in American history books it is most often in relation to their efforts for equality. As time progresses and books are updated, hopefully this will someday not be the case.
Do you think it’s only America that is so grossly unaware of the histories of other countries? Do you feel the way that I do about what was taught in history classes as you were growing up? Do you think the stories are told more as we wish to remember them, rather than how they actually occurred?