Avowed Identities: loving, caring, intelligent, open-minded, active, happy, liberal, fun, out-going, social, polite
Ascribed Identities: judgmental, accepting, competitive, quiet/shy, giving, thoughtful
It disappoints me that this is an ascribed identity that I have to put on my list above, but I have been given the ascribed identity of judgmental by one of my sisters. She has told me many times how judgmental I am towards her boyfriend. I know this is something I cannot argue against. Her now fiancé has made many poor decisions in the past and I still often don’t agree with many of the things he does or things he says. Because of this I am overly judgmental of him. I know that if he were a coworker or a classmate I would not judge him in the way that I do because he is my sister’s fiancé. Although I know that it is not a valid justification, I judge him the way that I do because he is with my sister who I love so dearly and want the best for.
Other than my sister with the questionable choice in men, I have been given the ascribed identity of accepting by everyone else who knows me. This identity is a more accurate portrayal of who I really am. I am accepting of differences and appreciate everyone for who they are as a unique individual.
Everyone who has ever played a game with or against me has given me the ascribed identity of competitive. I realize that it’s just a game and only sometimes lose touch with that reality. I just have always figured that if I’m going to participate in a game of pictionary I may as well put all my heart into it. =)
People that I don’t know very well would all give me the ascribed identities of quiet and shy. The people that I know in the professional environment are the people who are most likely to give me this ascribed identity. I know many people who I’ve worked with or gone to school with for many years that I don’t interact with outside of work or school who still know me as shy, while my closest friends and family know me as outgoing and social.
My family and close friends have given me the ascribed identity of giving. I’ve always loved finding ways to make people smile. I do little things like send a card when I have time or just shoot a text message someone’s way to let them know that they are thought of. I like to buy a friend lunch when I have the money to do so, or get something special for my mom that I know she wouldn’t buy for herself. My family has told me for most of my life that my giving is going to effectively keep me poor for life.
My family and friends have given me the ascribed identity of thoughtful. If I know that someone is stressed or sad I do whatever I can to change that. I always noticed the kid on the playground that was left out and I did what I could to include them.
Of the actions that I took to resist these ascribed identities the one that most stands out to me is working hard to not be judgmental of my sister's significant other.
Do you think ascribed identities when it comes to yourself are most often accurate or inaccurate? Are the inaccurate ascribed identities you listed ones you’d rather were accurate or ones that you wish people didn’t associate with you?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I think the more well the person knows me, they more accurate the ascribed identity. Although, on occasion, there might be somebody who I am around frequently that I feel has an inaccurate view of who I am.
ReplyDeleteI think mine were ones that I wish people didn't associate with me. The dreamer one is debatable. I like being a dreamer, but I feel that it can have negative connotations (not being realistic, not finishing what you started, etc.)
I completely agree with Mindy about the more a person know you the more accurate the ascribed identity. I tend to focus more on the ascribed identities that are more accurate, but am bothered mush more by those that are not accurate.
ReplyDeleteThe inaccurate ascribed identities that I listed were ones that I didn't really want associated with me.
Many of my ascribed identities were accurate and associated with me. However, some of them weren't. If people don't know me very well, they are likely to be wrong or different from what I think I am.
ReplyDeleteThe ascribed idendities that are inaccurate are not really what I didn't want associated with me. I don't have so many negative ones, but I don't want others to think that is all about me. I don't want it when people think that way and don't accept my other idendity.
Some of the asscribed identities that were "given" to me I do not like. However, there are some that I do like and work hard to get them. I think that only one of my asscribed identities were inacurate and I would want that identity to be thought of when they hear my name.
ReplyDeleteI think alot of them are accurate. The people who are saying them know me pretty well and know how I am. But the people who dont know me, what they have to say is totally inaccurate. I dont really care what people have to associate me with. I know what is true and how I am and so do my friends. I try not to let stuff like that bother me.
ReplyDelete