I don’t drink coffee and oddly, most of my friends don’t either, so I figured this might be an interesting place to observe and it turned out to be just that. There were quite a few people in the coffee shop while I was there. One of the first things I noted was that the people kept to themselves. Those that came alone stayed alone and the pairs that came together or met up with one another just stayed with each other. Strangers did not strike up a conversation with one another. I’m certain that I would have been breaking an unwritten rule had I randomly sat down and tried to have a conversation with anyone there. The people that were by themselves were reading or working on their computers. They had no interest in the other people that were around them in the coffee shop. The only eye contact that occurred was at the counter when drinks or sweets were being bought and by the couples that were visiting because they already knew each other. The people were spread out throughout the entire shop. When someone new arrived, they looked around for the most secluded place to sit down.
Upon doing this observation I realized an unwritten rule because of something I witnessed just a short time ago. The incident occurred when I was studying for finals this spring at my school in the cities in its “student center” like area. The place was full of students cramming for finals. However, what is our unwritten rule of what “full” really means? From my experience, it seems that practically no matter what the size of the table may be, if even one person is sitting at it or even has their books sitting at it, the table is off-limits, taken, and “full”. So, this incident included someone breaking this “rule” and fists almost started flying as a result. The table was a larger one, without doubt large enough for two people to do their work at. However, it seems that for the most part people are only comfortable sharing a table (despite it’s size) with someone they know. Anyway, the student that was working there closed up her books and had them neatly stacked on one side of the table and left with her boyfriend, for a short while, who had arrived. While they were gone I watched a young gentleman sit down on the other side of the table and without taking up much room, begin to study. Shortly thereafter, the couple returned and they were both appalled that someone had the audacity to sit down at “her” table. The boyfriend interrupted the young man studying and asked him why in heaven’s name would you sit down at a table that someone else was clearly using? The boyfriend had had no plans of staying there with her while she studied, but she decided that she too had to leave because she certainly couldn’t share a table with this stranger. The young man that had gotten yelled at was a passive person and I could tell he felt badly that he had made someone upset, and all because he was unaware of this unwritten rule. What is your opinion of this particular unwritten rule? Is it normal and appropriate for us to want such personal space at a table?
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My personal opinion is that when studying I like to have as much space to myself as possible, and I wouldn't be thrilled at the arrival of a stranger; but I wouldn't make them leave and would offer to make more room for them. The size of the table would need to be taken into account as well; if it were a particularly long table I wouldn't bat an eyelash, but if it were a three or four person table I would be more uncomfortable, because I like to spread out to work when I am able to. Especially in a library where I am usually using eight to ten books and several notebooks verifying citations. On the other hand a library is where you need to be the most conscientious of others because it is a public space. Basically, I am saying that I would not be overly thrilled about sharing a table, but I wouldn't use that as an excuse to treat someone poorly.
ReplyDeleteI think it's normal for us to want space, especially in public places. I prefer having a table to myself when I am at the library or a coffee shop, but I have to remember that I don't own a table and they are designed for multiple people to sit down at once. Meghan is right, the size of the table is important. I don't think someone sitting at your table is as much of an issue as personal space. Public space is about 12ft. Most likely a table at a coffee shop or library is shorter than that. Someone breaking the 12ft barrier might make me less comfortable than if I were by myself in that space, but it's not going to make me angry either.
ReplyDeleteI think it's usual to want space at a table. If strangers sit at the same table as me when studying, I don't think I can concentrate on my studying. I would definitely feel weird with that. We usually start having our stuff spread on the table when we take seat. It shows our private space and we don't want others invade it.
ReplyDeleteI really like my space when I study and often times when I study I like to look up at what other people are doing. If someone sits at my table I would feel like every time I looked up They would think that I am looking at them and they would look at me. Creepy and akward situation then.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that I like to have room when Im studying, and I normally do not like to have people around me. I like to spread things out and make sure I can see everything in front of me so I am not sorting through earlier. Also most of the time I am studying with a friend or another class mate to get help and things like that. So if someone were to come up and take a spot I think I would be a little frustrated but it is not something to get all upset about. Just move your stuff over and continue studying. Most of the time if it is crowded I have my head phones on anyways, So I wouldnt even notice.
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